Current mood:

gloomy

Running with questions.
Running and running from a past I can't hide from. I keep losing my way while finding new things to fill my heart and my mind. I feel like I'm losing my mind. There's a new fear of confrontation with things that I thought I had already confronted. And now, an unopened wound bleeds incessantly. A horror story unfolds within my memories. I don't want to remember. I don't want to know. I want to forget. Why does it take so long to get past a few moments of a life that is so full? Why do I think so much about such unthinkable wrongs?

To forget means to forgive. But how can you forgive someone who won't ask for forgiveness? How can I forget someone when they torment my thoughts at all hours of the night?

I must be fooling myself if I thought I was strong enough to face this on my own. I am so glad that there is one holding my hand right now. And I am happy to cry on your shoulder. You may think that you have disappointed me or have not impressed me enough for me to stay. But you are all that I need. Right here. Right now. You are every protection from misery and lonliness. Just love me and treat me tenderly, and I will be yours in return.